光阴似箭。

不得不打从心底地认为这一句成语很写实。

回想当初，昨天好像是我第一天骑着脚踏车抱着紧张的心情到Jetlink上班。第一天上班当然很紧张咯！踏进公司后，我鼓起我所有的勇气逼迫害羞的自己跟陌生的同事打招呼。然后，我自己一个人傻傻地坐在一旁看报纸，等老板娘到来给我签appoint letter。过后，我又紧紧张张地坐在我的位子上等着被委托工作。

我记得，每当我没有工作时，我总会很烦恼。感觉好像，自己正在打工赚钱，要是没有工作，老板会很不高兴。我总是很害怕。

才刚开始工作的第四天，我就开始生大病了。那也是第一次，自己发现，原来，我生病时也能做东西。不知道是紧张的感觉作祟，还是意志力发挥了作用，我工作时会忘了生病。因为刚开始上班，所以不好意思请病假。

我很粗心大意，总是犯错，总是挨骂。骂得我最刻骨铭心的当然就是老板娘咯！不过，也不难理解啦！毕竟，我真的犯错，真的有“痛脚”被她捉住，我又能辩驳什么？也因为那样，我总会使尽办法确定自己不犯错。当然，也会常碰钉子。犯错，总是免不了。

感觉上，昨天好像才是自己第一次在Jetlink领薪水的日子。

感觉上，农历新年好像还未过去，我正又兴奋又心急地等着“bonus”。感觉上，昨天好像才是农历新年前的收工日，大家都很开心地迎接着即将来临的长假，而我失望到留下眼泪，只因为自己期待已久的“bonus”始终没有到手。

感觉上，昨天好像才是成绩出炉的日子。我在公司看成绩。死命忍着不哭，却始终忍无可忍。好在，那时，天照我，因为公司只剩下自己和另一位同事，爱面子的自己才不至于太丢人现眼。那天，也是自己唯一的一次，丢下同事，和朋友吃午餐。

感觉上，昨天自己才参加了annual dinner。入世未深又不擅交际的我，静静地坐在那里等着时间的过去。

感觉上，新年才过去不久，托Jetlink的福，自己多了六、七十令吉的红包。

感觉上，昨天，自己还在痴心妄想地想得到“bonus”和“confirmation”。

我的工作范围很广。有做“苦力”的时候，有打电脑的时候，有复印的时候，有scan东西的时候，有打email的时候，有找文件的时候，有陪老太太看医生的时候，有撕邮票的时候，有剪报纸的时候，有到外面交文件的时候，有斟茶递水的时候，有抹桌子的时候，有“看”菲佣的时候等等等等的。我比还未到那里工作前更善于运用microsoft word和excel了。没用过scanner的我也能运用自如了。除此之外，当然也学会了不少东西。^^

感觉上，我好像昨天才递辞呈。

常跟同事一起吃午餐，一起吃早餐，常常谈天说地，有时说说笑，有时我会向她们倾诉，有时她们会做一些糕点让我口福不浅。。。 同事也会常提醒我以避免我犯错，常给我一些宝贵的意见。。。经过了七个月的时间，我从没勇气跟她们打招呼到可以向傻婆一样对她们大喊大叫。。。从老板们不断的责骂我的出错，到他们慢慢地了解到我是一个需要详细解释的人，似乎已明了我在哪方面会犯错并在那方面加以叮咛加以提醒以避免我犯错带来不必要的麻烦；从不断地挨骂到挨骂的次数少之又少。。。老板偶尔慷慨请吃一顿，让我能省下更多钱。。。

Confirmation在四个月后到手。

当然也不忘记，自己托了Jetlink的福而有机会学日文。Free of charge的。虽然还无法说出一口流利的日文，虽然不记得很多日文句子，不过自己也算能阅读及能写出日文中的hiragana和katakana了，也勉强记得一些常用句。这也算是一大收获。

七个月咧！说长不长，说短不短。原本只会在Jetlink待五个月，不过，因为学业方面的变动，所以我的辞职延后了。辞了一次又一次的职。。感谢老板还愿意让我留下。这能让我多赚几百令吉。也因为这多出的一个又一个月，让自己有充足的心理准备，不再有太多的不舍。时间过得真快。

一转眼，今天已是我在Jetlink的最后一天了。不舍得，总有一点，毕竟七个月的时间很足以让我习惯那里的生活。 Jetlink和同事们陪我成长了超过半年。

在Jetlink的一章，是时候划上句点了。

Last time, I slept for 2 hours at night, it is reasonable to feel sleepy.

Now, I sleep at least 6 hours a day, yet I still feel sleepy all the time.

I have regulated my sleeping time slowly throughout the pass half year.

Yet, I still feel sleepy almost all the time.

I can sleep inside the LRT, I can sleep at LRT Station, I can sleep in the bus, I can sleep at staff canteen of Jusco, I can sleep on the sofa of Jusco.

Sometimes,  i am scare that i will over my destination.

I remember that there was once that i slept in the metro bus, when i woke up, i dunno where i was. I was kinda nervous. I waited until the bus went to the last station and came back again. I hope that that won’t happen anymore. :p

It seems like I can sleep everywhere I am. >.<

My sleeping time was slowly regulated.

Why I am still so sleepy?

No matter how well my sleeping time is fixed, I still look like sleepy.

I didn’t sleep too much nor too less.

What is wrong?

Do I need to have skill is managing my sleeping time? >.<

Do I need to learn how to sleep well? >.<

Today is my first day of “university” life. Why is it “university” but not university? This is because my school is Advance Tertiary College. There is no the word “university”.

I don’t like this school. It doesn’t give me feel like it is a university or a school. In fact, I think it is more suitable to be known as a tuition centre. It just looks like the tuition centre I usually goes when I was in form 5. Pusat Tuisyen Kasturi.

When I started dealing with this school, I started hating it. At first, they told me that the next intake will be in June. That time was sometime around April. When I called back to ask again, they told me that there was one intake has already started, which is May intake. That time was already somewhere around mid of June. =.=lll

They asked me to join although I would have missed a few classes. I don’t like to miss any class and also I was working, I can’t leave as I like, so I didn’t. I told them that I want to join the June Intake. I asked about the intake date, they, more than one staff told me that it will be the first week of June, or 1^st of June. I kept asking for the timetable but it was not out throughout the few weeks. At first, I doubt about what they said because the timetable was not out yet. On and on, more than one staff told me about the same thing, intake start at 1^st of June, then, I trusted them fully.

After that, I resigned with my company and got ready to start my “university” life. Few days before 1^st of June, their so called timetable was finally out. I was shocked. The intake date was 22^nd of June instead of 1^st of June. In addition, there is only one day class a week. =.=lll

I never expect that my “university” life has only one day class a week. Fine, I accepted it anyway.

Then, I decided to continue working because I have only 2 days class this month. I can take leave to go for the 2 days classes. Resigned, continued working, resigned and continuing working. That is the process happening on me.  

Last Tuesday, I called ATC and asked whether there are any changes in the timetable. I got to make sure my class really starts before I submitted my leave form. I applied one day leave which is today. During all this time, sometimes, I will worry that they will have some changes again and again. I may be unable to accept.

Today, i woke up at 6.30am, prepare myself and waited at LRT station for about 2 hours for my 4 hours class. My class finally started on time. This time, I got another “surprise” again. There is a new timetable. The 1 day class will be split into 2 days class, which means that today I have only 2 hours class and I have to attend classes tomorrow. They didn’t inform me. Damn!

I should have taken leave earlier. You may say that, doesn’t matter as I won’t be working for long. However, this is not a matter of working how long, but a matter of my reliability (something like that). I have to thicken my face and inform my boss that I am going to take another leave tomorrow.

One more thing, they told me that the ptptn loan application dateline was 16^th of June, result can be checked 3 days later which was 19^th of June. I didn’t check because I heard that it is not good to log in to check if the result is not out yet. I doubted whatever they told me. I am right this time. Today, I asked the person who is in charged again, and she told me that the result will be out tomorrow. =.=lll I hope that this time is the right one.

See! They can change as they like. They didn’t sign contract when telling me those things, else, I can bring it to court and sue them!

I heard people saying that they are good. I really doubt it. I am sorry to say that. At the moment, this is the impression they give me.

I sincerely hope that everything will go fine during my 3 years of studying there. I hope that I will not get anymore disappointment from them. *Praying*

I don’t know whether it’s considered as my choice.

Maybe I can say that I am half forced to make this decision.

Oh no! I was the one who made this decision and persuade him.

I got to persuade someone for the thing that I don’t like.

Sarcastic, isn’t it?

Since I have made decision, I should just go on and on.

There are no more turning points. I guess.

Scare and worry wouldn’t help anyway.

I shouldn’t get affected by those external reasons.

I should be strong, stronger!

I sincerely hope that I won’t regret.

I seriously hate that.

No matter what problems appear again, I will have to cope it!

I believe that I can.

So now, let go of those unhappiness and start feeling cheers!

頑張ってto me.

22-06-09

前阵子，报纸报道，当你情绪低落时，你的免疫力会下降。

那意味着，这时候，如果你接触到病毒，那么，就很容易生病。

不高兴、生气、埋怨、不服气、心里不平衡等等的，甚至，做自己不喜欢的事，都会导致免疫力下降。

总而言之，要时时保持好心情！

开开心心，病痛远远！

那好难哦！无时无刻，总会有突发事件发生。

原本，今天将是自己在Jetlink工作的最后一天。

然而，因为第二次的突发事件，我被逼面对残酷的现实，继续工作。

辞职了两次，再留下了两次。

无奈。

辞职前，请三思而后行。

感谢老板还让我留下。

喉咙很痛，不知是不是因为那件事掠夺了我的免疫力。

我完全无法控制自己的情绪不低落。

由衷的希望，不要再有什么意外，不要再遇到小人。

我的承受能力有限。

但愿大家一切顺利。

I am mad.

It has been so long since I was mad like this.

I am really mad.

I couldn’t control my anger and my tears dropped continuously.

Why am I mad?

I am not sure.

Is it because I am going to have so many spare times?

Is it because that I don’t know what to do?

Is it because that I feel I have got cheated?

Or, it is because that I don’t wish to waste my time anymore.

Yes, I have wasted more than enough time.

On the other hand, I want money.

Whose fault is it?

I asked, and asked.

I asked clearly.

I asked repeatedly.

The answer was almost the same so I trusted it fully.

At the end, I am wrong.

Ok, at least I know that we shouldn’t listen to what people say.

We should only trust if there is black and white.

I will feel bad if I write out the details of this story.

I can’t spoil their reputation.

お誕生日おめでとうございます！To myself…hehe…

This is definitely a belated blog post, because I am getting more lazy and tired. *Embarrased.

I worked 6 or 7 days a week in these two months. No complaints because this was what I chose. Why? There are reasons behind things!

Okay, enough of craps. I will summarize my 20^th birthday. This is the happiest birthday I have ever had because my thinking had changed, because I have got more matured. I am now 20 years old. I have learnt something really good for me myself.

This was the first birthday present I got. From Tiffany aka Dai Ka Jie. When did I get it? I can’t really remember but that was somewhere around middle of April when I saw her. Thanks Dai Ka Jie.

The day before my birthday, new friends I know in 19 years old treated me secret recipe. I didn’t take any picture for it. Anyhow, that’s considered as my early celebration so special thanks to them.

On my birthday, I worked as usual. There was nothing special happening starting from 12 am except that my phone rang more often than usual. =) I got about 25 messages birthday wishes from all best friends and some close relatives. Greatly thanks to them as I was really happy whenever I got a wish.

This is the second birthday present and the first present of the day! From 5yee. I was a little bit surprise when I got it. She actually posted it to me and didn’t let me know about it at all before that. The best part of it was that it arrived on time. I saw it after I got home from work.

Night, I went out with secondary school friends. I didn’t expect them to have celebration with me this year. I had a happy supper with them. I felt like I have got long time didn’t see some of them yet…

My birthday supper – tomyam seafood fried rice. @ Cola Club.

Presents from Li Jing (Temporary) and Jun Hoe. Thanks ya!

Present from Monkey. Thank you!

Not to forget about the cake. Thanks and thanks! No picture taken.

My birthday was celebrated together with my didi’s birthday who was born one day later that I was.

-US-

My birthday ended with my feeling of tiredness mixed with happiness. Many thanks to all my friends!

Li Jing said that she did prepare my present but she didn’t expect to see me on my birthday so I couldn’t get it on time. I appreciate that the heart she has for me. Thanks in advance ya!

On 16^th of May, which was 4 days after my birthday, I went out with Ling. We went for shopping. She planned to take ‘picture’ with me but we didn’t manage to do it because lacking of time. We shopped for many things and went bankrupt. J To my surprise, I discovered something long time after I went home. LOL. She gave me my birthday present secretly. I was really surprise and happy for it. This was not the first time she gave me such a surprise. She is really such a nice person.

This is what ling gave me. I really like it. Many thanks!

That’s all for now.

十九岁的最后一天。

没什么特别，只是，又要老一岁咯！

这几个月，发生了很多事。

发现，很多事都不在我的掌控之中。

放手和看开，是我唯一能做的事。

我学会了不执着、不奢望。

在十九岁的末端，我也改变了不少。

我变得比以前坏了，因为好人难做。

某些时候，自私是好事。

要学会自私！=)

经历了两次失败。

爱面子的我在人前不露出半点伤感。

打落牙齿和血吞。

人长大了，心里的问题就会增多。

也因为这些问题，我们才成长了。

这个时候，我应该在INTI的。

因为改变，所以我必须到ATC。

原本，这一个月也不会工作了。

不过，因为改变，我继续工作一段时间。

二十岁，我的注意力将在实现梦想上。

很高兴自己进步了，不再作那些无谓的妄想。

预祝自己“二十”岁的人生比“十”岁的人生顺利！

明天就是四月二十九日了。

原本，明天我就会“搬家”到英迪学院的宿舍。

原本，明天我是应该请半天假的。

原本，半天假后的第二天，就是自己工作的最后一天。

原本，下星期一，我就开学了。

绞尽脑汁想自己在那里需要什么。。。

差不多买齐了我认为我所需要的所有东西。

其实，我只是希望，自己在那里的生活不会有什么大问题。

准备就绪。

然而，不到最后关头，都不能说大局已定。。。

变了！

怪不了任何人，因为我硬不下心肠。

心里有点酸酸又有点痛痛的，因为我舍弃了些自己盼望已久的东西。

没了。。。

是时候接受现实了。

梦想是美好的，现实是残酷的。

Due to work, i always write dates recently.

But there is no dates that means something to me.

12-04-2009. A month to go before i turn 20 years old.

This is a little bit special la! hahaha…

This day, i worked at promoter at Jusco AU2.

A tired day.

My leg is not feeling well due to the non-stop standing.

My hand’s muscle was hurted because i didnt take good care of it.

I received gifts from 4yee.

Received gifts exactly one month before my birthday. *happy*

Chocolates!!! One of it is a box of Ferero Rosheo which is the most precious one and attract me the most!!! =)2 bookmarks and 1 purple keychain...^^

2 bookmarks from Indonesia and 1 purple keychain!!

That means a lot to me.

The call that i had been waited for few days also came. Thanks ya!

As a conclusion, this is a long day and i ended it with a very sweet sleep. ^^

p/s: 1 more month then i will become older…=(