正在人生中的分叉路口。

向左走还是向右走？

迷惘、举棋不定！

想起了中学时的一首诗。

The Road Not Taken （by Robert Frost）

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

很写实的一首诗。

没想到自己还记得这一首诗。

决定了，就不应该再犹豫。

问题是，我决定了吗？

好漫长的一天。不上床睡觉，对我来说，就不算一天。
七点，闹钟一响，我的眼睛就睁开了。平日，不到七点半，我都不会睁开眼睛。就这样，开始了这漫长的一天。
望了电话一眼。有一封信息。时间刚好是七点零四分。我的第一个想法是，这么快？我托表哥帮我看成绩。我半掩半遮地看看来信者，原来只是一封转发信息。躺着等了十分钟，表哥终于发信息来了。不过，他说成绩还未出。一直到八点半，他都还没有查到。
心想，会不会太差了导致他不告诉我？怎么可能还没出？最后，在同事半推半就下，我自己上网看了。搞了半天，还是必须自己走那一步。唉！
好有型。除了这三个字，没有别的形容词了。可谓是，酸甜苦辣样样俱全。好难过。有种遗憾深种心中。每个人的感觉都不一样，只有自己能懂。
然而，我需要工作。工作！可是，我的心早就飞得老远了。无心工作。
所幸，老板们不在。让我有时间悲伤。天助我也！
我耗尽了所有的精神，让自己在少于两小时内冷静下来，理智地想清楚并接受现实。
爸爸那关还未过。不过她说得对，不管好坏，每次都不好过。所以，我并不那么害怕了。
我发呆多过工作。真的很难集中精神。加上很累。老板，抱歉！
冷静下来后，我在看了一次成绩，发现也并不太难接受。
中午，和朋友们吃午餐。工作以来，第一次有朋友来找我吃午餐，还不错。
甜酸苦辣，好美。这是人人的想法。对我来说，却是一种痛。
很惊奇，自己竟然只用了少于两小时的时间，几乎彻底复原。没有再有一点悲伤的感觉。除了很累和一直发呆，我几乎完全正常。还是因为自己根本没有时间悲伤？
晚上，公司一年一度的晚餐。不能不去。我不擅长应酬也不喜欢应酬。何况，我只想睡觉，我只想一个人。
午夜十二点十五分才回到家。就快能结束这一天了。
正式告别A Level。
累。
过去已成过去，不必留念。
现在是现在，应该珍惜。
将来未知，却掌握在我手中。
*废话*

What is so special with this day? I think this is a normal working day? I have to wake up early like usual and go to work. In addition, at night, my company will have annual dinner. I am informed that as a staff, I have to attend; else my boss will get angry. Seriously, I dun think that I have the mood for the annual dinner. On the other hand, it may be a good thing for me. In my opinion, the annual dinner is just like over time working for me. It’s because that my boss will try his very best to make full use of me! The reason is I am the youngest there! Fine. So, I might be very busy and forget something that’s saddening. It’s good. On the contrary, it may be bad too. I might be very bad tempered that time. My brain might be lost somewhere and causes me making things worse and then make him angry. Then, my mood will be extremely bad.

This is the A Level results releasing date! I started feeling scare. So far, I was quite calm recently. My mind is full of rubbish instead of A Level stuffs. It’s weird, I know. What to do? Due to the pass few times waiting period for results, I think that I am very abnormal this time. Anyway, I started feeling scare at last. I feel very uneasy. What if I get very bad results? What if I am not satisfying with my results? I have to accept it anyway. But I will feel very bad. Arh! These feelings are very torturing! Get lost please! Besides handling my feelings, I have to face many people, friends, colleague and family.

Last time, I checked on time. But this time, I dun have the courage to check. Totally no! Why am I a coward? This is what I deserve to get what? No matter how it is! Yet, I am still a coward who dun dares to face the truth. I need some time.