02.28.09
矛盾！
最近，除了矛盾，还是矛盾。
也不知道自己为什么那么矛盾。
就不能定一定吗？
坚持，在哪里？
明明好像决定了，可是有时还是会突然又犹豫不决。
怎么回事？为什么那么地矛盾？
总是，听到了某些话，就会犹豫起来。
总是，想起了某些事，就会信心不足起来。
总是，小小事又怀疑起来。
总是那样地就举棋不定。
感觉上，自己的心好像一艘船。
一艘正在海上飘浮不定的船。
有时，它好像安定了下来。
不过，其实只是一种错觉。
原来只是因为当时的海浪不大。
离谱还是不离谱，我不肯定。
究竟何时它才能靠岸？
船到桥头自然直。
然而，什么时候才到桥头？
桥头究竟身处何方？
很想。
可是，想就能不顾一切不考虑后果吗？
如何能两全其美？
开心又不开心。
有开心也有不开心。
应该开心又不应该开心。
有些不舍。。。
有好有坏。
到底应该如何取舍？
好多东西需要仔细考虑。
遗漏了哪样都不行。
时间不够用了。
钱也不够用。
。。。。。。
p/s：但愿，那些无关痛痒的事不要在这个节骨眼再来烦我。
三个月
不曾对三个月有任何的感觉。
三个月，很长吗？才不呢！
然而，这一次的三个月，似乎有点特别。
三个月，能代表什么？
三个月，能做什么？
这三个月里，我成长了不少。
学会了少许的待人、少许的处事、少许的礼貌、少许的忍耐、少许的“无所谓”等等的。
试用期通常都是三个月，可是，我应该不会过试用期吧？
不过，那重要吗？
对我来说，那是一种肯定，心理上的肯定，所以，在某程度上，是有一点重要的。
被肯定是值得高兴的，然而，没有也不代表我不好！
三个月足以让你习惯一种生活。
朝八时三十分晚五时三十分的生活，我开始接受了。
可是，某些事，还是难以习惯。
不习惯被骂，不习惯不被尊敬，不习惯犯错。
因为自己是那里最年轻的一个，所以有很多的东西需要学。
发现待人处事与礼貌是两门很深奥的学问。
正在深入探讨，希望会有所得。
要真正地掌握这两门学问，还需要时间。
自己是个精神容易紧张的人，正在努力地改变。
自己是个个性性急的人，正在学习平静。
学习着忍耐，努力地当一个有耐心的人。
尽量地不去计较一些鸡毛蒜皮的小事。
自己不够虚心向学。
三个月以来，竟然没有储到钱。
没有达到目标，唉！
无论如何，自己似乎已往“成熟”迈向了一大步。
即将踏入二十岁的人生，是时候成熟一点了吧？^^
在捷力咨询服务有限公司三个月了。
再接再厉。
（又在废话了，真受不了。。。）
02.16.09
Duty （星期六-14/2）
这一次的duty是在湖滨公园的越野赛跑。
那里好大。
应该是第一次去。
Duty让我去了不少自己不曾有机会去的地方。
在赛跑即将开始时，我才跟“站友”快步走到我们所属的station。
我负责的station是station 13。
一共有21个station。
主办人并不熟悉那地方。
我们并不知道有捷径。
那意味着我们从station 1走到station 13。
因为怕参赛者比我们快，所以我们走到很快很快。
“竞走”又怎么会比“赛跑”快呢？
好多参赛者都越过了我们。
从station 1走到station 13，超过一半的路程。
那可不短哦！
感觉就好像自己也参与了他们那有意义的运动，很不错。
喜欢这一类半“被逼”的运动，因为我不常作运动。
其实，我在station 13时只是摆美的啦！
虽然有点无聊，不过，那也代表没人受伤，是好事！
事实上，我也并不感觉无聊啦！
因为，我是在做好事嘛！呵呵！
每次duty后，都会感觉不错。
不知道是因为做了“义工”，还是因为跟朋友聊聊聚聚。
这次是跟陌生人一起共事。
我跟同伴们被分开了。
不过，只要目标一致，问题就不存在了。^^
Wesley Sentul（不确定名字是否正确）学校的人都很友善。
他们不断地热情地招待我们茶点。
才短短的不到两小时，我们每人竟得RM30。
没有做什么，竟然有钱入口袋，有点不好意思。
开心也许是因为我感觉到我们是备受尊重的。
“打工”，有几何能被尊重及善待？
做义工，不受气又能被善待，既开心又有钱，何乐而不为？
运动后，总能睡得很甜。
无辜的不幸（星期五-13/2）
今天是星期五，一星期中工作的最后一天。
喜欢周末，因为周末是假期^^
小小的不完美是，自己需要加班一小时半当阿四。
加班却不加薪，所以自然是不乐意的。
回到家后，老爸为我带来了一个坏消息。
小叔家遭劫匪闯入并洗劫一空。
事情的经过是这样的：
某日的早晨，大约五六点左右，小婶像往常一样，不知道是开门晒衣还是什么的，就是开了门，然后，两名持巴郎刀的劫匪就闯入了他们家。两名劫匪将所有家人都集合在一间房间里，逼他们供出值钱东西所处的地方。除了劫走所有所能找到的现金以外，首饰、每个人的手机以及家中的其中一辆汽车也被夺走了。所幸，无人受伤。
这个新闻，让我听了不禁不寒而栗。
忍不住感叹现在的治安。
前阵子，有位同学也因被打抢而变成植物人然后离世。
为什么劫匪能当道？
人们辛辛苦苦赚来的钱，就那么白白地被他们夺去。
难道那是理所当然的？
这还有天理吗？
唉！怨天尤人是徒劳的。
只好凡事都小心翼翼咯！
“小心驶得万年船”嘛！
请大家在开门前小心注意四周。
02.10.09
落汤鸡
傍晚五点正。再多半小时就放工了。
四等工，等吃饭，等放工，等周末，等出粮。
滴滴答答。。。啊！又下雨了！
忍不住破口而出：“整天‘流流长’，偏偏选这时来下雨，真是的！”
无可奈何。只好抱有一线希望，大雨会在半小时内缓下。
上天似乎怀着怜悯之心，大雨真的演变成了小雨再到毛毛雨。
虽然雷声仍不断，不过我却很乐观。
天真到以为，大雨既然变小了，就不会再大回。
然而，我错了。大错特错。
我开了脚踏车锁，打算趁雨还未变大前，快速骑回家。
最近，傍晚时分都频频下雨，小雨中骑脚踏车，也见怪不怪。
小事一桩，小雨一场，当然难不倒我！
可是，今日，运气不大好。
等着红绿灯时，感觉到滴在脸上的水越来越多。
啊！雨越来越大了！
可悲的是，我不能向前走！必须继续等待那该死的红绿灯。
拜托啦！快一点嘛！
因为我的速度绝对不比车快。
果然，当我能够继续向前走时，天已下着倾盆大雨。
在眼镜布满雨水后，我不得不把它拿下来。
除下眼镜后，我变成了一个半盲人。
我只能看见远处模糊的车灯。四周的一切也是模糊的。
我放快速度，努力地骑，还是没有多大的帮助。
只到了半路，我已是名副其实的落汤鸡。
从上到下、内到外，无一处是干的。
最痛苦的是眼睛。
有正常视力的人，在雨水干扰的情况下，视线也会变得模糊。
更何况是近视很深的本人在大雨中外加没有眼镜的帮助。
骑脚踏车是一种良好的运动。
加上我骑的时候，都是上下班时，多半是阴天。
即减肥又健康，简直是完美！
要是老天不会下雨。。。
02.04.09
开工大吉
开工咯！开工的好事当然就是收红包咯！
晚上，第二次的annual dinner。
这次是auditor公司的老板请客。
和上一次一样，好闷。
唯一令人开心的是，有红包收。^^
哈哈！他们都说我很会喝酒咧！
我只是喝了四杯的三分之一杯的红酒。
我真的能喝吗？嘻嘻！
托Jetlink的福，我收了六封红包。
该感恩的时候我会感恩。
该生气时，我也会生气。
红包就是我罕有的 passive income！
所以我当然想要越多越好咯！呵呵！
不是贪心，是人之常情。^^
但愿在仅剩的几天新年里，会有更多的收获。
第二天，超累的。
不停的打瞌睡。
两天都不够睡。
不过，自己有个优点。
当我用心工作时，会忘记疲累，忘记生病。
真的很失望。
为什么？因为太差了？因为不值得？
或许吧！
深深的体会到了师公的五字真言。
“工字不出头(出头即入土为安)”。
不论如何，现实还是得被接受。
我不是不接受现实的人。
我会把这件事忘却的。
我对它的那一份心不见了。
“它不仁，我不义。”那不是我的作风。
只想抛开一切的杂念，继续前进。
我没有，我不知道。只因为我年轻？
（无需被理解的日记）
02.03.09
CNY Holidays (edited)
This is already 1:10am. I am still awake. I have to work tomorrow. Can i wake up? LOL. sure! This is hard to regulate my sleeping time especially just after holidays. My holidays ended nicely with lots of fireworks. Let me summarise my holidays here.
My holidays were about 10 days long. The holidays after my a level examinations were just 9 days. So, this is a long holidays.
First day, i went back to Tarc. Met Ms. Tan and Mr. Low. They are my favourite lecturers. I was there to ask things regarding studies. They are helpful of course. Ms. Tan helped me to photostat and gave me a lot of valuable info. Mr. Low gave me a valuable sentence which is ‘ Need not to think about what you like. Just dun do what you dun like’. Something like that which solve some problems in my brain. He lent me a book which has info about courses and universities too. Before leaving, Ms. Tan gave me a small packet of cookies. Thats called ‘Premium Fortune Cookies’. I like its name. It comes before CNY, brought luck to me! ^^
Second day to Fifth day, i was at hone all day long. Pretty bored. I only got one angpow which is from my dad. CNY shouldnt have only one angpow! Arh! I was unhappy! i havent got married yet! I just watched TV/Drama, online and dreaming. Thought about studies too. Went through Mr. Low’s book. Did i make up my mind? Yes, i did. However, this was a weak one.
Sixth day, i thought i would just go to my Account Tutor’s house. Before that, my friend called. So, i went to my friend’s house which is very near to my house first. There were quite a number of stranger. I got shocked when i reached. Not really enjoyed at first because im not good at communicating with strangers. Later was okay because we started playing card. At least, i had something to do. Then, i went to my Account Teacher house at Selayang. Too bad that he had forgotten my name. lol. He always forget students’ name. I remember that he used to praise me a lot. happy that time^^ There, my decision was weaken. After that, i went to my best friend’s house. Dinner with friends and headed home. Collected 3 angpows.
Seventh day, i stayed at home again. bored! i dun like it. I went out for a while to buy my friend’s birthday present at night. Again, watched drama, online and thought!
Eighth day, went to friends’ house. We gambled. I drank a lot of water due to gambling. I won RM 5 too! ^^ They came to my house at midnight too. My parents were all sleeping. Thats very much better because we can have more fun. They left at 1:45 am. A nice day. Collected 4 angpows.
Nineth day, I wished to sleep more because i slept very late the day before but i couldnt. i forced myself to get up at 10.45am. Went out with 3 old friends. We had korean food as lunch. Chatted happily. The boss of the restaurant is very kind although he was a bit slow. Probably they were lack of workers. He took our picture to show on his restaurant too. I gave him my email address. Hope that he will send me the picture as soon as possible. Very much thanks to him because that was valuable to us. Later on, we went to visit our ex tutor(form 1-3). It had been a long time since we met and talked. We chatted happily. My decision was stronger a bit. Because we chatted too much, i was late for another round. i delayed the time which Edmond should come to fetch me. Night, i went to Mr. Yap’s open house. Bryan drove. Thanks to them as they are always willing to fetch me when there is event. They are very kind and helpful. Mr. Yap introduced his two teachers to us. We called them 师公. They taught us about discipline and 工字不出头. Great teachers ‘produced’ great students. Great 师公 produce great Mr. Yap. We will be great students as well because Mr. Yap is a great lecturer. ^^ Then, some left and we went to a lecturemate’s house with Mr. Yap. We gambled a while. I lost RM 6. There are win and lose all the time so i didnt feel anything. lol. I reached home at about 1:00am. Edmond sent me back. Collected 5 angpows.
Tenth day, also last day. i was at home again. i should rest before i start working. So, i didnt feel very bad. Woke up at 1pm. Thats the reason im blogging at this time because i dun think i can sleep early. I will be tired tomorrow. Expecting something from work but i know that this is not possible (very disappointed!).
I found that this is a bit hard to get myself back to work after a long holidays. I was used to laziness. Oh no! i should discipline myself as what si gong told. I need money now.
I better sleep now. Work hard, save hard and then quit! My CNY aim.
02.02.09
Tagged by Tiff. (edited)
- The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
- Each player answers the questions about themselves.
- At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.
Name : Teh Siao Ying aka greenTea
Sisters : 1
Shoe size : 7? (cant remember la!)
Height : +- 165
Where do you live : Medan Idaman (also known as Setapak/Gombak)
Favourite breakfast : A slice of bread (High 5) + a cup of milo with oat. (not too fat not too heavy!)
Have you ever been on a plane : Yes (a lousy plane which give me bad impression)
Swam in the ocean : No. (i cant swim at all la!)
Fallen asleep in school: Uncountable. (almost everyday…hehe…)
Broken someone heart : Yes? No? (but my heart always got broken by….)
Fell off your chair : No.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : Never!
Saved e-mails : Yes.
What’s right beside you : Too much things.
What is the last thing you ate : Yee Mee Soup
Sore throat : Always… having now as well!
Stitches : Err? not sure..
Broken nose : No!
Do you believe in love at first sight : No!
Like picnics : Dunno.
Last made you smile : Received a sms from someone.
You last yelled at : My friend? (for fun)
Talk to someone you like : Not long ago.
Kissed anyone : Cant remember. (I always kiss my toys)
Talked to an ex : No ex.
Miss someone : My friends!
Do you sleep with stuffed animals : No! I cant stand it!
What’s under your bed : Floor.
Who do you really hate : someone who likes to say bad about me.
What time is it now : 04:12 pm (Tiff, im very efficient eh?^^)
RANDOMS
Q : Do you have any siblings : 2 brothers & 1 sister. (repeated question?)
Q : Do you smile often : Depends.
Q : Do you like your hand-writing : I’ve no feeling to it.
Q : Are your toenails painted : No. (Im lazy)
Q : Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : No oh!
Q : What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday : On the way to Sim Sim’s house.
Q : I can’t wait to : have 100 million in my bank account now! (Copied from Tiff)
Q : Are you a friendly person: My friends dun think so.
Q : Do you have any pets : Two tortoise!
Q : Where is the person you have feelings for right now : Someone!
Q : Did the last person you held hands with you mean anything to you now? : Did I hold anyone’s hand?
Q : What are you doing right now? : answering questions from the tag. (because of Tiff)
Q : Have you ever crawled through a window?: I dun have the courage.
Q : Can you handle the truth? : Yes of course. Everyone can do it.
Q : Are you closer to your mother or father? : Father.
Q : Who was the last person you cried in front of?: My colleague? or computer?
Q : How many people can you say you’ve really loved? : Some.
Q : Do you eat healthy? : Sometimes.
Q : Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you? : Yes.
Q: How often do you go to church? : Went once ages ago.
Q : If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? : Siao Ying.
Q : Are you loud or quiet most of the time? : Quiet.
(9-10 years old )
Cant remember well. In Standard 4 at Lee Rubber.
5 SNACKS I ENJOY.
1. Any dark chocolates.
2. Potato Chips.
3. Cant think of it at the moment.
4. Cant think of it at the moment.
1. Medan Idaman, K. Lumpur.
3. Eng Ann ( my grandmother house)
4. Eng Ann? ( my auntie house, not so sure about the name of the area)
5. Anywhere I went. (can be genting, can be camp etc)
1. General Clerk in Jetlink Management.
3. Promoter at Jusco.
4. Waitress.
5. Film Critic. (Hehe…)
5 lucky person i choose to tag is
1. Alicia
2. Toh Wai
3. Edmond
4. Shindy
5. Kah Yan
greenTea